I’m seven years old. I’m sitting in the back seat of my parents car, and we’re driving home from a relative’s house. It’s in the middle of the night and my parents had been drinking, and now they’re arguing.

My father punches my mother in the face (while he’s driving) and pulls the car over. My father is angry, and my mother is crying. There’s blood on her face. As time goes on, the blood stains on the car seat are a reminder of the trauma of that night.

Now I’m 16 years old. My parents had divorced a few years earlier, mainly because of my father’s alcoholism. And now my mother is marrying another alcoholic, and my father, who I felt close to, moves 1,500 miles away.

I feel lost and my self-worth drops. I’m thinking: Does anyone care about me?  (I never saw my dad again, and he died when I was 42.)

Now I’m 28 years old. By then, I had three horrendous pregnancy losses, including a stillborn girl at eight months. My husband cheats on me with a prostitute and is addicted to various sedatives, and threatens me with bodily harm, so I get a restraining order and a divorce. I had moved to a state where I didn’t have friends, I had lost my children, and at the age of 28, I feel like my life is OVER.

But I pull myself together and start to feel good about myself again. I meet someone who reminds me of my father’s good qualities. I’m feeling like this is the one.

It’s three years later, and what seemed like a “nice guy” is really someone who is very angry, and is making threats and damaging my car. There’s narcissistic abuse. I get another restraining order, and the loneliness is back.

Now I’m 38 years old, and I’m in another troubled relationship. I’m sitting in a psychologist’s office telling her my problems. After about 30 minutes of this she looks at me and says “excuse me, do you have the word DOORMAT written on your forehead?” 

This is the defining moment, and I realize that the answer to my problems are INSIDE of me, and that I’m the one that holds the power. It’s time to totally shift my thinking, and to LOVE MYSELF.

I start my journey within by reading books on self-empowerment and mindset. I had been working in corporate for 22 years and worked my way up to be a top analyst for a major bank. It’s there that I hone my skills of digging deep to find answers. And, I discover I have this intuitive ability to help people solve the mystery of why they’re stuck, and to move on by healing emotionally and getting clarity on their life’s direction.

I study mind-body wellness, become a transformational life coach and clinical hypnotherapist. I write an award-winning book that helps people to lose weight by healing from the inside out without diets that leave them feeling even worse about themselves.

I create Soquili Sanctuary (the word soquili means “horse” in Cherokee) as a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization with a six acre property in Northern Arizona. The focus is using animal therapy in addition to life coaching and guided meditation to help people heal from trauma and abuse who could not afford the services.

The Sanctuary is eventually downsized and relocated to the Phoenix area. The horses are no longer part of the sanctuary, however, Duff the goat (one of the original animals) is still here.

I now offer speaking on healing though self-love and workshops on confidence and self-empowerment, and a focus on helping women who have experienced emotional abuse or domestic violence to finally heal, and build trust and confidence.

I also offer a Meetup group and a Facebook group for support.

Whether you’re a corporation, college or individual and would like to engage my services, please contact me directly at (480) 688-3924 to discuss how I can help.

To make a donation, click on this secure Paypal link so that we can make an even bigger impact.

Kathleen with Mark Victor Hansen, co-creator of the Chicken Soup for The Soul book series and motivational speaker.
Kathleen with Brendon Burchard, Best-Selling Author and the World’s Leading High Performance Coach.